today

1. What a small world. 2 years and our paths crossed again. A newly posted NSF who turn out to be one of my orientation group juniors. Didn't recognise him because of his lack of hair cover. Haha. When that's gone, half of your intelligence is gone too. He did recognise me though.

"Aren't you heng qing from s20??!"

Haha. The feeling that emanated from within me blanketed me for a while. It's a very heart warming feeling..for I know for certain they have enjoyed and the best part is, I've enjoyed too. =)

2. Diarrhoea.


~*~

流砂
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vu1pzW5RsV4

并不是真的 路过而已 并不是真的 不会想你
全都不是真的 是骗自己
其实还爱你 爱着你
我以为我早想清楚 不由自主恍恍惚惚 又走回头路
再看一眼有过的幸福
爱情好像流沙 我不挣扎 随它去吧 我不害怕
爱情好像流沙 心里的牵挂 不愿放下ON BABY 让我这样吧

爱情好像流沙 我不说话 等待黑暗 让泪能流下
爱情好像流沙 明知该躲它 无法自拔 OH BABY 是我太傻
是一再的 做一再的错 不由我
我一步一步一步一步 慢慢走向流沙

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRNwFye1Ajc&mode=related&search=

almost a decade. or more.

Hotel California

Having chanced upon this song as of late, I was particularly intrigued when I heard there were actually deeper meanings behind the lyrics and some mysterious speculations ever since the album was released. In fact, I guessed I've listened to this song quite a number of times before, just that I didn't take specific note, probably because it didn't appeal to me. It was only recently when my cousin selected this song during our karoke session, and it somehow reappeared in my mind again. And of course, with the coincidental small little chit-chat on this topic a few of us had while in office, questions started to fill up my mind. And so, I hit the search engine, and read some extraordinary beliefs. It was like some self-discovery. Aha.

Talking about mysteries. There's one for me though. Perhaps two. But since questions with no answers doesnt equate to mysteries, I would say it as one. Till today, I never did find out the person who spilled the beans to the adminstrative section of NJ. And I guessed I never would. I am sure the rest of us would very much like to know the answer, and I can safely assure none of us will still bear grudges. The final period of the honeymoon period has certainly been far thrilling, and I would dub it as the most unnerving, intriguing days of my life so far. There could be a traitor amongst us. Sounds like those scenes in those typical triad movies indeed.Haha.

~*~

Something more about myself. Received some valuable feedback pertaining to myself, and of course, it is worth to look into the matter. It certainly contains some truths and well..they do serve as reality checks. Perhaps what I might've lost is the sanguinity. The outlook towards things. Enthusiasm has waned, and so has determination. Lets not even put discipline into the picture. And I know I need to regain it back. I've failed to rise to the occassion not once but twice, and that's crucial. Apart from that, there's this atmosphere of helplessness which hovers around. A mood of despondency continues to linger. I believe it's not only in me, but also some others. The doctor will tell us everyone has the same problem. And as patients, it doesn't mean there's no problem. There's a need to heal, yet there's no urgency; for we are seemingly forever embedded and unable to dig ourselves out. We've got to figure out the solutions ourselves, we got to recover. Let's not try too hard either, for it will backfire. It's not about doing more. It's about balancing the insides. Lets not be concerned over efficiency, lets be effective.
Let the beat sink into us.

such a lazy morning

The daily heartbeat

Which is more beautiful - the sunrise or the sunset?

It has been a while since I got down with common flu and the associated body weakness. Couldn't even remember the previous time when I felt groggy. Didn't even know whether it's fever. Didnt bother to find out either. Come today, I realised I hadn't been taking care of myself, my body and my heart. I've lost that bumming energy within me, I am ruining myself. Torn into shreds. Even when I know I needed to rest more and stay at home, I chose not to. Late nights, irregular eating habits, varying proportions, --moody. I want to keep going out, keep talking to people, being involved here and there. just to stay away. He said, " Sometimes I think he has an objective in his mind, and he is trying to go towards that objective, but deep in his heart, he knows he will hardly be able to meet it" How true. So what's the point of setting an objective?. Beats me. I am like this too. Perhaps sometimes one does more out of less. To fill up the void. To cover up the loneliness. Yet, how much can one cover. It seems like a bottomless pit.

Why am I like this. What's wrong. What's the matter. Why am I destroying myself. Why don't I have the strength to withstand.

This song is dedicated to myself, and for all those who are undergoing difficult periods in their lives at this moment.
heal the world - michael jackson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68J5eDpLFfk

heal me please.

where where are you.

how i miss you

this song is making me spin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QN9jyds9DQ

空气里躲着什么
有点浪漫的心动
我偷偷看你　你也偷偷看我
世界上多了什么
好像变得很不同
站在你身边　这一切都好宽阔

我还在等着你　静静的爱我
只要有你陪我　静静的就足够
你也在等着我　静静的温柔
就这样手牵手　静静的看着天空

心里面藏着什么 你只想要让我懂
原来我的梦　也就是你的梦
纸条上写了什么
我好想要听你说
让字字句句　充满我们的笑容

我还在等着你　静静的爱我
只要有你陪我　静静的就足够
你也在等着我　静静的温柔
就这样手牵手　静静的看着天空

永远要记得那天彼此许下的承诺
瞬间点亮的火花
是我们的拥有

我还在等着你　静静的爱我
只要有你陪我　静静的就足够
你也在等着我　静静的温柔
就这样手牵手　静静的看着天空

静静的手牵手
是最简单的梦


就静静的离去吧

爱你不是两三天

退给你的信 只剩下最后一封
淡淡笔迹 你熟悉的温柔
请别介意 我会将信纸好好收着
当我需要你关怀的时候
走过夏日街头还是想牵你的手
好想听到 一句温暖的问候
虽然我们说好了 还是朋友
但为什么却没有再联络

爱你不是两三天 每天却想你很多遍
还不习惯孤独街道 拥挤人潮 没你拥抱
爱你不是两三天 一眨眼心就能沉淀
你是否想念我喔
还是像我 只和寂寞作朋友

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3u7RAa1704M

“嘿好友！好久不见。。。最近还过得好吗？ ”

“嘿阿胜，我还不错， 你呢？”

“相当好，生活还算挺充实的。”

“啊，今天真是巧， 我刚在我们以往常去的巷角遇到了阿生。。。起初他在发愣，接着和他聊了几句。感觉他有点古怪的。后来又问了一道题。”

“他是不是问了一道文字题目？ ”

“对啊，你怎么知道的？”

“ 是不是这一题。。。方和庆这两字有何不同？”

“没错，就是这一题。”

“那他告诉你什么了？”

“一点一横两画同，
是否还能再相逢”

I guess I know what to do from now.

'You have to close yourself off in those times. You will get the odd snippet but you have to have a bit of self-belief in what you are doing is the right thing and you are in control of events and that things will come through.'

~*~

Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.

haa haa. it drew a faint smile on me.at least.

what do u call a live fish which doesn't move around in its tank - as good as dead

okayy..tonight's one of my less hectic nights..and yet im refusing to go to bed even though i need sleep badly. so i log in to this account and hope to pen something, when i dont have anything concrete in mind. it will be a rubbish entry, well..so be it. many times i wonder who i can talk to with regard to my inner feelings,my deeper thoughts, and the exact number of times i will come to have the same answer. it is sad. no doubt. mayb i should just leave it lying low...don't even bother about it...hope it continues being low and stay dormant...and disintegrate one day. this shouldnt be the way.it shouldnt be. yea..perhaps lifeless is an apt description of me.i think it is. i dont even know how to continue typing now...im feeling dead. day in day out, i only want the year to end. i suppose nobody can understand.i dont want any of you to understand too. i dont like to share ugly things.besides, crap isnt meant to be shared. i only want 08 to come quick. that will mean a lot. well they say if you pick up one end of the stick, you will pick up the other end of the stick too. anything that u attempt at, there will be an outcome. no outcome is still an outcome. i know i failed. i know everything has come to naught. i know.i know.i know.

i dont want to know anymore...

madness

I realise im kind of crazy.
Even to the extent of endangering my lethargic body.
Over-exert...over-strain...I was aware; yet I couldnt give much a damn.
Why liddddatttt.whyyyyyyyyy.

Going bonkers.