For all the things that fall within your area of control, you try to do as much as possible. For all the things that are beyond your control, you should stop to control.

Ever wished not to control the things that you can control?

Why is it that all these skirmishes occur every now and then. Why is it that all of you are always looking for something to squabble about. Is there really a need to spike one another just to get your point across. This is vexing, because you're going to make life very difficult for everyone in the future do you know that. As much as I want to stay away from all these, I hope to rectify whatever that is deemed necessary. Being obstinate doesn't help. You got to listen, you got to try to understand. Sense the message. Not rebut remark against remark. Only when you listen, then you will have a chance to be introspective. correct them and carry on from there. As much as I want to made known my feelings, I feel apprehensive. And deep inside, I know that this bad habit of yours(s) is going to be detrimental in the long term if it is not corrected.

It is something I may have some control over with, yet I feel it shouldn't be me trying to influence. Because you're expected to know.

It is never hard to choose apathy. Yet somehow I don't favour apathy this time round. I'm confused.

I need someone to talk to.

大雨过后的眼泪
挂在充满回忆的橱窗
我却不想忘以往
那些心碎的心创

记忆是一个行囊
陪伴着我到世界流浪
我让悲伤都装上翅膀
再见了就不能倔强

该忘了你对不对
怕自己无法面对
无怨无悔
把一切留给纪念
受过沉默的创伤
它会慢慢被岁月
一片片填满
渐渐就习惯不再想
忘记曾经最痛的地方

该忘了你对不对
我应该坚强面对
学会遗忘
不能像爱的挣扎
记忆会为我收藏
那些美丽时光
为爱付出过的力量
带着爱去寻找
幸福的希望

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBH-Tf6xcHE

just saw something which I have no wish to. I think it's time to do it.
If I have to be harsh, I must. I got to.


It's time to wield the knife.

will i?

I wonder if I'll ever get to catch a shooting star again.

behaviour.

While I am still brooding over what happened this morning, it must say the reaction from me was something unusual. It wasn't intentional, I am dead sure about that; I merely took a shot towards goal and it merely strayed off track. To say that I was nonchalent at all when he picked up his phone would be tantamount to lying, yet, to say that I was afraid of what was going to happen would be incorrect too. I did no wrong. Maybe that's why I contemplated to apologise. I know too well that an apology may do the trick, and yet I didnt even step forward. It could be that I lack the courage to admit, but I suppose another overriding reason was that I actually felt defensive. Defensive to protect myself, protect myself from being exploited for unjustifiable reasons. The thought of him exploiting that loophole and seeking compensation and etc...just stopped me from stepping forward to apologise. I didn't know what was the best way out, so I stood ground. I thought. I weighed the atmosphere, the gravity of the situation. I listened. Eventually, I approached him and apologise, albeit one without much sincerity. He dismissed it promptly, disgruntling and self-justifying. His body language hinted to me that he wasn't concerned about listening. I gave him the cold stare, walk away, while at the same time, preparing myself for any consequences that might come against me and also comforting myself that things will be all right. I have to admit I wasn't a gentleman, as I didn't apologise immediately. It was certainly unfortunate that my ball hit your car. But I felt I had a reason for holding back my apology. To consider extensively in that short period of time, to give myself some time for not making the wrong move. Most importantly, to protect myself from unnecessary grudges against me. I didn't want to commit instantaneously. For all I know, a wrong start may snowball into something worse. And nobody wanted anything worse to happen. On hindsight, I think it was 50-50.

On the issue why I acted defensively, I can hardly fathom why. I supposed it's something I've picked up in office. When you get exploited many a times, you naturally want to defend. If there's something that I can take note, it should be that I got to check my actions in the future.

yea i don't understand. probably i never will.

just wish to shut out from all these.throw them away.far away.never to bother again.

wasn't there when you needed me the most.

two songs to accompany

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NuVsWpx4Sw
endless story - yuna ito


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBH-Tf6xcHE
该忘了你对不对
A very nice song. I've yet to get the lyrics. Seems to be unable to find it.

There's something I wish to say but I won't know if I will ever get that chance. or if it will ever be necessary to say. But I do know that if I don't get to say, that person may never know.

I am waiting for the future to arrive somehow. I want to see how things will become.

Endless story.never-ending journey.


说对不起的应该是我才对
加油。

more than sad

everytime I see it, it rubs it in.

perhaps thats why it might be time you will find me becoming reclusive.
perhaps i shouldnt be concerned anymore.
everything is proving too hard,too painful to bear.

i realise i havent been up.

thinking about

Someone was missing. Someone was badly missed.

it dampens the night a lil.