It has been a while since I got down with common flu and the associated body weakness. Couldn't even remember the previous time when I felt groggy. Didn't even know whether it's fever. Didnt bother to find out either. Come today, I realised I hadn't been taking care of myself, my body and my heart. I've lost that bumming energy within me, I am ruining myself. Torn into shreds. Even when I know I needed to rest more and stay at home, I chose not to. Late nights, irregular eating habits, varying proportions, --moody. I want to keep going out, keep talking to people, being involved here and there. just to stay away. He said, " Sometimes I think he has an objective in his mind, and he is trying to go towards that objective, but deep in his heart, he knows he will hardly be able to meet it" How true. So what's the point of setting an objective?. Beats me. I am like this too. Perhaps sometimes one does more out of less. To fill up the void. To cover up the loneliness. Yet, how much can one cover. It seems like a bottomless pit.

Why am I like this. What's wrong. What's the matter. Why am I destroying myself. Why don't I have the strength to withstand.

This song is dedicated to myself, and for all those who are undergoing difficult periods in their lives at this moment.
heal the world - michael jackson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68J5eDpLFfk

heal me please.