Hotel California

Having chanced upon this song as of late, I was particularly intrigued when I heard there were actually deeper meanings behind the lyrics and some mysterious speculations ever since the album was released. In fact, I guessed I've listened to this song quite a number of times before, just that I didn't take specific note, probably because it didn't appeal to me. It was only recently when my cousin selected this song during our karoke session, and it somehow reappeared in my mind again. And of course, with the coincidental small little chit-chat on this topic a few of us had while in office, questions started to fill up my mind. And so, I hit the search engine, and read some extraordinary beliefs. It was like some self-discovery. Aha.

Talking about mysteries. There's one for me though. Perhaps two. But since questions with no answers doesnt equate to mysteries, I would say it as one. Till today, I never did find out the person who spilled the beans to the adminstrative section of NJ. And I guessed I never would. I am sure the rest of us would very much like to know the answer, and I can safely assure none of us will still bear grudges. The final period of the honeymoon period has certainly been far thrilling, and I would dub it as the most unnerving, intriguing days of my life so far. There could be a traitor amongst us. Sounds like those scenes in those typical triad movies indeed.Haha.

~*~

Something more about myself. Received some valuable feedback pertaining to myself, and of course, it is worth to look into the matter. It certainly contains some truths and well..they do serve as reality checks. Perhaps what I might've lost is the sanguinity. The outlook towards things. Enthusiasm has waned, and so has determination. Lets not even put discipline into the picture. And I know I need to regain it back. I've failed to rise to the occassion not once but twice, and that's crucial. Apart from that, there's this atmosphere of helplessness which hovers around. A mood of despondency continues to linger. I believe it's not only in me, but also some others. The doctor will tell us everyone has the same problem. And as patients, it doesn't mean there's no problem. There's a need to heal, yet there's no urgency; for we are seemingly forever embedded and unable to dig ourselves out. We've got to figure out the solutions ourselves, we got to recover. Let's not try too hard either, for it will backfire. It's not about doing more. It's about balancing the insides. Lets not be concerned over efficiency, lets be effective.
Let the beat sink into us.