the past week has been some sort of a turmoil, a little unnerving, tiring, just going through motion.life has been so routinal, with negligible perks, but numerous slides.if i can even consider that life.i feel so alone sometimes, doing everything myself, no one appropriate to talk to.okay.got to face it.I am alone. I've been trying very hard to pick up little positive things, as any logical person will tell the depressed to do.trying to engage in activities, to pre-occupy myself, to do anything that might help. sometimes i dont even know if typing here helps.the computer doesnt have any feelings.isnt that akin to talking to a block of wood. yet if i bottle these things up, it is difficult to breathe.type or don't type.both ways also lose. even right now, it just shows why i am here on a friday night.no activities, no mood. no nothing.i will just keep on rambling till i am tired. sometimes i have so much to say to her, so much to feel, but SO WHAT.say also pointless. At a point when you can't better a situation, don't worsen it.

besides that, im in a political climate now.heavily charged.massive polarity reactions.my movement has stirred up political ideas and according to him, the damage has been done. meaning i've caused damage. Getting complicated. Well, maybe some things are best to leave in grey.

In short, for every feeling im having now, there's nothing I can do. And that's the saddest.

这条路好艰苦