LUCKY STARS PLEASE

I need luck. Lotsa luck.
Please please.

BAAHHHLUKU

Ghostly algae-ly green.
Ouch.

I supposed I received a lesson from this, which happens to caution me not to be too serious during playtime. When you are not afraid of getting injured, you won't. On the contrary rather, you will probably get injured if you are afraid of getting knocks. I've always thought so. And I still do. It's very psychological. Something to do with the power of your mind. If you think you're able to go in strong, you will turn out fine. And when I went in for the ball, I thought I would be first to it. No hesistation. No consideration. I have not attacked a ball with my head for a very long while. Until then. And I wasn't so lucky. While I collapsed, many things ran through my mind. That short span of mini secs through mid-air. Time seemed to come to a standstill. The next moment when I landed, I could feel blood gushing towards the left side of my face. There was this immense hotness. I thought my entire face was gone, it really felt as if there was a big swell from the forehead to the cheek.

Despite all this, I wonder when I will ever learn this lesson. I wonder if all this will ever get to my head. I truly know the dangers. Yet, I cant win myself over this.

Because in life, if you miss out one jigsaw, you lose the picture. The essence is lost.

AIRPORT

just sent my bro off.
-jollibean-

3,11,22

BURNOUT

Stress is a condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that demands exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize.

... may worry so much that they sleep badly...
...Most comes from things like work overload, conflicting priorities, inconsistent values, over-challenging deadlines, conflict with co-workers, unpleasant environments and so on...
...Not only do these reduce our performance as we divert mental effort into handling them, they can also cause a great deal of unhappiness...

It's time to redeem myself tmr

HUI DAO GUO QU

blackboard.
chalk.
canvas shoe.

This has been bugging me for some time since karen talked about it.

If you have tried your utmost best and someone comes along and tell you- hey, you are not doing your best. What would you react?

Answers.Somebody give me answers.


get well

FOR SHOW

It's all crap again.
For all the effort in trying to improve, save it.
For all the suggestions and implementations that are soon to fall in place, it only means one thing.
For all the counselling, I receive bullshit more than anything.
The more you're trying to smoke, the more your smoke infuriates me.
I know where exactly the problem is.
But I wont say it.
I cant.
I choose not to.

I think the worst thing is to think you're in charge and that you know everything, but the fact is
you aren't.

no one ever speaks the truth

Of all things, I am only certain of one thing.

YOU ARE LYING THROUGH YOUR TEETH

Time and again, I tell myself to trust them.
I gave chances.
Perhaps I am always optimistic that things will turn out better. I always believe that the goal will come. When they don't, you convince yourself again. Again and again. And precisely because of the way things have always been, I always lose. The key word is always. Yes I keep trying, and I keep losing. I don't try -and to lose of course, but it always happens to be so. Because all along they aren't meant to be true in the first place.
I see discrimination happening to myself.
I always feel shortchanged. Cheated. Manipulated.
All lies. All liars.
I detest liars. They don't deserve anything.
Realising that I will be shaped to be the new year guinea pig doesnt make things better.
So helpless. Knowing your ugly fate ruins everything.
Blaming culture I call it.

Don't take things for granted.
For one day, they will vanish right before your eyes.

sometimes you're only left to talk to yourself

THE MISSING PIECE

I am beginning to feel damn lonely these days. Weekdays tantamount to grilling, weekends plain.
When I wish to talk to someone, no one is there.
Sometimes it's only me and the computer.
Sometimes it's the bed.
Sometimes it's the vacuum.
Sometimes it's the papers. But it wont be for long.
It seems like only the ball is there for me.not even -
Something's wrong somewhere.
There's a big jigsaw puzzle missing.
I dont sense it, feel it.
What's wrong? What's wrong. Am I miswired?
Frankly, I don't think so.

Just because my heart still tells me the same thing.
I just feel that something needs to be done.

every 7 days, you can only look forward to that 2 hours to unleash and liberate yourself
...

WAKE UP

Understanding doesn't mean accepting.

I AM STILL STANDING ON THE SAME SPOT.

Realising that loke is taking his As now, it suddenly dawned on me that one year has passed. Trying to recall what happened a year ago isnt that easy afterall, given the frailities of brain degeneration. The most vivid image was fretting over the first paper(maths) while attempting, the hisses and frustrating noises produced that led to people wondering.oops.geraldine.haha. received some sorts of feedback after that. Well, didnt know i was so irritating during exams. haha. If you asked me to retake it again, i doubt i have the courage (without even considering ability) to do it. Such things ma........been there done that dont wanna do it again.haha.yeah.

At this point in time, you look around. You start to observe. One year. One birthday. Every festival in the calendar has taken place once more. Your friends tread the paths laid for them. Adventurous ones go abroad. They go to school, mingle around, lament about tutorials, participate in events. Each and everyone drifts away from you. They have moved on.

And so. You ask yourself.
Who are you now?

"I am a soldier."

Oh.A soldier I see. So who are you fighting for?

"Everyone except myself."

damn.

all you need is

love.hunger.passion.desire.

play like you never get to play again
love like you never get to love again
keep on playing
keep on loving
live with no regrets
leave with no regrets

heads up.

hua xiang

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UlmLfgWhR4

everynight i come back home with a headache.

exploited.

those who dont understand can only accept.
those who do, tweak to their advantage and make people accept.

got to make them eat their shit too